Machete

MACHETE (Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis, 2010)

In MACHETE Danny Trejo plays the Federale who wields the type of blade with which he shares a name. An operation to take down a drug lord ends badly, and for the next three years the now former Mexican law enforcer must scrounge out a living with the other undocumented day laborers in Texas.

After Machete delivers an impressive display of cunning and brute force in a street fight, a stranger approaches him with the offer of a big payday in exchange for assassinating Senator McLaughlin (Robert De Niro), whose campaign demonizes illegal immigrants. Machete accepts the job but soon finds out that he’s being set up. He bands together with taco truck owner Luz (Michelle Rodriguez) and Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent Sartana (Jessica Alba) to crush the bad guys and help his fellow downtrodden countrymen.

MACHETE originated as one of the fake trailers between the Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino features in GRINDHOUSE. Now expanded to feature length, this indulgent homage to exploitation films resembles its inspirations in good and bad ways.

MACHETE starts like gangbusters with Trejo as a one-man Chop-O-Matic invading the villain’s turf. The pre-opening credits sequence blends extreme violence and riotously funny gags to perfection. There’s no question that Rodriguez and co-director Ethan Maniquis know they’re making trash, and they delight in being as outrageous and inappropriate as they can be.

Their no-holds-barred approach in MACHETE’S vengeance tale can be genuinely thrilling, but it also permits a lot of sloppiness. MACHETE’S less than rigorous direction and editing trim as much expository fat as possible so there can be more of the good parts, meaning one-liners and action and sex scenes. It’s not a coincidence that MACHETE first existed in trailer form. As a feature it unspools like a loosely connected highlight reel that starts to feel repetitive after awhile.

Fueling MACHETE is on-the-nose commentary regarding the immigration debate. It’s a more political movie than one might expect from an ode to junk cinema, although dabbling in the issues while trafficking in schlock fits in the tradition. Nevertheless, MACHETE’S blunt blade can be unsheathed more than is necessary to make a philosophical point. The lack of subtlety and discipline is what can make MACHETE a disreputable pleasure and less than a full success.

Grade: C+

The Eye

THE EYE (David Moreau and Xavier Palud, 2008)

The Asian horror style is about two cycles old in the scary movie genre. Even torture porn seems to have exhausted its trendiness. THE RETURN, THE GRUDGE 2, THE MESSENGERS, and ONE MISSED CALL, all made four years or more after THE RING debuted in 2002, are frighteningly similar examples of this atmospheric approach's staleness. The less successful films are high on mood and short on plot, comprehensibility, and scares. THE EYE, an American remake of the Pang brothers' 2002 spooker THE EYE (GIN GWAI), copies these failings like a blueprint.

Blind violinist Sydney Wells (Jessica Alba) receives cornea transplants to return the sight she lost in a childhood accident. New or restored vision can be overwhelming for someone used to relying on other senses, so Sydney visits Dr. Paul Faulkner (Alessandro Nivola), an eye specialist, to help with the transition to the world of the seeing. Paul is abrasive in their first session and remains skeptical of the problems she claims to have.

Sydney sees snarling, ghost-like creatures escorting souls to an afterlife and envisions people burning to death in a factory. She is convinced that so-called cellular memories in her new eyes are responsible for these nightmarish sights. Sydney's only recourse is to find the confidential donor and uncover what the dead woman must be trying to tell her.

The Pang brothers' uneven but effective original had an eerie tone and less predictable beats in its favor. It also helped that this style seemed fresher when their EYE reached U.S. theaters five years ago. THE EYE remake rolls off Hollywood's Asian horror assembly line like expired goods that have been repackaged. Get the same old boring secrets and visual aesthetic! As bad as or worse than before!

Not that THE EYE could have been salvaged with a different actress in the lead, but Alba's wooden performance works to the film's detriment. She possesses two looks, blank happiness and hurt puppy. With such limited expressiveness, it comes as no surprise that Alba is more charismatic on and between the covers of men's magazines than on screen.

Having Parker Posey play Alba's sister is one of the strangest casting choices to come down the pike in awhile. The pairing makes about as much sense as Sydney getting the eyes of a poor Mexican woman who lived fifteen hours away and thinking that placing a towel over broken mirror shards on the sink means her sister will fail to recognize the damage.

Poor acting and narrative inconsistency and stupidity can be glazed over if a horror film has the ability to scare. Here's one occasion when THE EYE doesn't have it.

Grade: D