Creepshow

CREEPSHOW (George A. Romero, 1982)

In sports it’s said that you play the game because having the best team on paper doesn’t guarantee wins.  Adapting the truism for movies, you watch a film because there’s no certainty the end product will be artistically successful no matter how good the assembled talent is.  CREEPSHOW boasts the director of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD and DAWN OF THE DEAD and a screenplay by one of the most popular contemporary horror writers.  George A. Romero and Stephen King’s key roles seemingly assure spooky fun, but the anthology film turns out to be a mediocre effort short on scares and laughs.

CREEPSHOW plays up its 1950s horror comic book inspiration by occasionally setting action within printed frames, including captions, and utilizing page turn and panel wipe transitions.  In the prologue an angry father throws away his son’s horror comic, an action which he suffers for in the epilogue. The film’s five scary and comedic tales ostensibly come from the pages of this disreputable book.

In “Father’s Day” a family awaits the annual arrival of a relative who always visits her dad’s grave on the holiday when she murdered him.  “The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill” features the titular hillbilly (King) discovering that he shouldn’t have touched the meteor that landed on his property.  In “Something To Tide You Over” a vengeful husband (Leslie Nielsen) buries his wife (Gaylen Ross) and her lover (Ted Danson) up to their heads on the shore.  Unleashing the terrifying contents of a hidden box from an 1834 Arctic expedition has benefits and drawbacks for two college professors (Hal Holbrook and Fritz Weaver) in “The Crate”.  A ruthless businessman (E.G. Marshall) tries to eradicate the roaches invading his futuristic, supposedly germ-free penthouse in “They’re Creeping Up On You!”

Inevitably some segments will be better than others in omnibus films, but CREEPSHOW stacks the worst entries at the beginning. “Father’s Day” is essentially a long set-up for a gory punchline.  “The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill” has a couple amusing touches, like the character’s belief that the local college has a Department of Meteors to purchase his find and a suitably sick conclusion, yet King’s hammy performance obstructs any semblance of terror in the scenario.  Although “Something To Tide You Over” marks a shift toward striking the right balance between fear and dark humor, especially with shots that convey the drowning sensation, it’s padded with unmenacing scenes.

It’s not until “The Crate” that CREEPSHOW finally begins to deliver on the promise of its primary creative forces.  One professor’s fantasies of killing his vulgar wife (Adrienne Barbeau) lack comedic or horrific surprise, but there is a satisfyingly grisly death when a graduate student gets a chunk bitten out of his neck by the hideous monster.  Romero also sustains tension from the simple act of slowly trying to lock a crate.  The segment dallies in the beginning but works overall as a thematic exploration of the darkness that lurks in the hearts of men.  

CREEPSHOW largely avoids the broader social concerns in Romero’s other films until “They’re Creeping Up On You!”  The story is built around a cutthroat executive whose wealth allows him to be literally sealed off from society, which isn’t exactly subtle but makes the point effectively nonetheless.  More than the other entries, it taps into consistent creepiness by virtue of those nasty bugs, especially in the punctuating gross-out images.  

Although the humor in CREEPSHOW often falls flat, the film’s light touch with horror offsets some of the narrative tedium and predictability.  Two good stories out of five produces the kind of success rate acceptable for baseball batting averages, not movies.  A Romero and King collaboration had potential, but CREEPSHOW is about as frightening as a Halloween sound effects record.

Grade: C

Promised Land

PROMISED LAND (Gus Van Sant, 2012)

Steve Butler (Matt Damon) knows firsthand how small towns can be ravaged in a down economy.  Born and raised in Iowa, he saw how the closure of a Caterpillar plant devastated the community.  Unlike many of those he grew up with, Steve got out and is enjoying success as a representative for a global natural gas company.  He travels to rural areas to persuade property owners to sell drilling rights on their land.  Steve isn’t ignorant of the risks involved with hydraulic fracturing, otherwise known as fracking, but he is convinced that what he does improves the lives of the struggling folks he encounters.  Any charity Steve feels for them doesn’t interfere with his knack for securing contracts for the lowest price possible, though.    

In PROMISED LAND Steve and co-worker Sue Thomason (Frances McDormand) expect a short stay for their assignment to close deals in a small Pennsylvania town, but gaining local approval is complicated when science teacher Frank Yates (Hal Holbrook) raises objections during a town hall meeting and the citizens postpone a vote on the matter for three weeks.  Then Dustin Noble (John Krasinski), an environmental activist from Nebraska, rolls into Miller Falls warning everyone that fracking can lead to dead livestock, land that can no longer be farmed, and contaminated ground water.  His message quickly gains traction and raises the pressure on Steve and Sue to deliver.

The makers of PROMISED LAND clearly object to fracking but attempt, not always successfully, to explore the issue without stacking the deck in favor of its viewpoint. Steve counters critics with the contention that natural gas is a clean, domestically plentiful alternative to coal and oil. Even if one doesn’t fully buy his argument, rejecting natural gas means implicitly accepting dirty energy sources and relying on overseas suppliers.  Fracking will bring an influx of money to the area and may restore a place and population that is economically disadvantaged.  In the end the situation boils down to which risks are the ones worth taking.

Damon and Krasinski, who co-wrote the screenplay, and director Gus Van Sant approach PROMISED LAND like a Frank Capra film.  The American people and process are trusted to arrive at the right decision, even if opposing forces are working to manipulate them.  The townsfolk are credibly portrayed as being aware of what’s at stake, if not fully informed, and susceptible to the lure of easy, much-needed money. Steve and Dustin are on different sides but generally seem sincere in their efforts.

PROMISED LAND is at its best when showcasing the details of life in a self-contained agricultural community and the strategies and affectations Steve, Sue, and Dustin employ to influence the people there.  For all of his good intentions, Steve is something of a huckster.  Damon plays him with genuine charm and strong compartmentalizing abilities.  Krasinski displays his everyman appeal as his character effortlessly ingratiates himself with the locals.  The film’s middle section amuses with the maneuvering and passive-aggressive interactions between Steve and Dustin.

PROMISED LAND is well-acted and observed, although two flaws emerge.  Steve and Sue are more flustered by the presence of a single environmentalist than a couple of old pros should be.  PROMISED LAND tends to be savvy about risks and rewards, but one turn of events is unearned.  The development doesn’t ruin the film but wipes out the balance it was striving for.  

Grade: B